Spilling a few beans

You  know what one of the best things about this pregnancy is , so far?
The reactions of some good friends. Friends who, on more than one occasion, have listened to my desperate complaints on how "I was never going to be a mom, and might just as well give up on the whole idea". Old friends, and new friends.
One friend even got teary eyes because she was so happy for me. That while I, one year ago, walked out of her birthday brunch, after her pregnancy announcement.

2 weeks to go, and then the beans can spilled on a larger scale. I really can't wait. The not telling-part is so hard on me!
-What, N, no fresh icecream?!?
-Uhm, no, I've turned allergic to raw eggs overnight.
-N - no wine, sure?
- No, I'm still recovering from Newyear's...
- But you didn't drink anything on Newyear's!!
- Oh, yeah, I meant Christmas...
And then there's the litlle bump (and the Pamela Anderson-imitation) - I want people to stop thinking I'm just getting fat!
2 more weeks....

9 weeks

Voilà, there she/he is : tiny N!  9 weeks old, the size of a large grape.
I found this picture on the web - and thought it terribly cute. Until I started reading a bit further. Apparently, this tiny dol is given to women who consider an abortion, to "help" them in taking a decision.
I don't know how to feel about this. Sure, you don't have to deny the truth: this is your baby at 9 weeks. But on the other side: every woman has to decide what's best for her. There can be many reasons why having a baby is not the best option. I believe that having to take such a decision is already hard enough in itself, why make it even harder?

Anyway; I'm still happily pregnant (and an emotional pinball), and next week I'll get another peek at tiny N!

Bump

Over the last two months, my pea's pod more than doubled in size. From the size of  a small egg to an oversized grapefruit. So yes, it's already getting pretty crowded below the waistline. My belly feels thight and too small, with lots of strange pulling, pushing, stretching sensations going on. And with, as of this week, a little visible bump.
Other than that, it's now 3 o'clock in the morning, and I'm too nauseous to sleep. (although the rest of the week I felt fine and hungry the whole time).
We've also passed the two-months milestone, so during the next few weeks tiny N will grow even faster than before. And my little bump as well :-)

A mom needs a mom

I cannot imagine being a mom without my mom. I need her - more than ever.
Today, we learned that the months of heavy chemo-therapy haven't done a single thing. And I just can't take it. She's been fighting for almost three years now.
Why can't we just be happy, and look forward to tiny N - without having to worry if my mom will still be with us...It's all so unfair. Tiny N needs two grannies, and I really need a mom.

First lullaby

Yesterday evening, while going to bed.

N humming silently to tiny N

“little baby, little baby, grow little baby, grow, grow, grow…”

<Insert sound : loud screeching brakes of sports car>

“ I mean, okay, uhm, grow, but not too much okay? Try to stay as small as possible, plenty of time to grow, you know, *afterwards*. Okay? Deal?”

Science-fiction

Another being (alive!) is growing inside of you. It entirely lives on your resources, and it gradually sucks up all your energy. It even makes you sick from time to time.

Let's be honest: it's the plot of numerous sience-fiction movies, in which an alien uses your body as a pod until it's grown full-size and can take over. Only the people closest to you notice that there's something "slightly wrong" - but by then it's too late. "Invasion of the body snatchers" - sounds familiar?

In real life, all of this is called "being pregnant". There's this tiny creature hiding in your belly, and it's causing major havoc. Telling  you what to eat and what not. Making you go to bed at 8 PM. Playing with your emotions. Etc, etc.

From time to time I still think it's too weird to be true, and I'll  wake up any minute. Which would be a shame, 'cause I already love my little alien body snatcher.

Spotty

I’ve never been this spotty in my whole damn life. Nope, not even as a teenager. And guess what? There isn’t a thing I can do about it. Even a lot of over the counter anti-acne creams have ingredients that can be harmful for the baby.

So what advice does the worldwide web give?

- wash your face every day (oh! that’s a new concept!)

- buy  facial cream from an unknown brand “Bellie” for only 22 $  (right…)

- Don’t use products with vitamin A or retinol in them (can also be harmful)

- “Don’t worry. It’s normal” (yeah, that will make it go away overnight)

- Drink lots of water (I drink gallons of water, and the only effect is even more sprints to the bathroom)

Voilà – as I told you: not a thing I can do about it. And I guess getting more desperate every time I look in the mirror doesn’t help either.