10 weeks to go

Could be more, could be less. But it's a nice number to start the final countdown. And maybe to start actually preparing the arrival of this baby. Because at this point, nothing is done yet. No baby room, no name (although the short list exists), no godparents, no birth announcements, ...
So I almost choked when the doctor asked me if I had already prepared "ma valise" to go to hospital. Now I can barely look at a pack of diapers without experiencing an anxiety attack - let alone that I'm able to prepare "ma valise"...But okay, apparently it's something that has to be done once you've crossed the 7-months milestone. And when I read the list of what has to be in this "valise", I want to run away even harder. "Disposable underpants" - come again? Sanitary pads, breast pads - okay, I've got it - I will be leaking from all sides and it won't be pretty. Whoever designed the female body to do all this, made some serious engineering mistakes, if you ask me.

P on the other hand is very active in preparing. He managed to get his hands on a maxicosi and isofix carkit; he is a specialist when it comes to buggies; he knows what to look for to determine the right daycare centre, etc. Meanwhile, my head becomes foggier by the minute, and I'm lucky if I even remember to drink the cup of tea I've prepared for the third time.

Luckily, the doctor told me that I'm not a complete nutcase to have all these fears - and that every new mother faces them, sooner or later, before or after birth. And while I sat mumbling away in French, she managed to clearly put into words exactly how and what I felt. She also advised me to go see and talk to someone - which is what I might do. I really want to be able to relax, to be happy and to enjoy this for the last two monts. And actually prepare for the big adventure.

Just one more thing :
telling me how difficult and exhausting the first months are, how utterly painful breastfeeding is, how the delivery can last for 24 hours or longer, how your relationship is bound to suffer and change, how your body will never be the same afterwards, how you have absolutely no time left for yourself, how an epidural can go wrong, how the episotomy can ruin your sex life for more than a year, etc, etc.....All that is really NOT helping me. Even if it's told with the best intentions. Even if it's followed by a weak "but it's also nice, you know". I hope everybody got the message.