Slow down

That was the main advice of the doctor today.
Up until now, I've tried to continue my life as if nothing has changed. I don't want to be a "burden" to anyone. So I get up in the morning, run from one class to the next, (feeling more not well than well), and manage to go on a jobhunt in between. Continue to swim almost 2 km, and go to the gym once a week. Hop on the city bikes and drive around town. Run to catch that bus. Carry all the heavy bags that need to be carried. And so on.
But now, there are some big red flash lights going off. Such as "hard bellies" - which appear to be early contractions. My body that is simply refusing to do one more step, and is literally making me fall down (yes, today, I fell once more down the stairs in a subway station). Then there's also the diziness, and several other little aches that tell me my body is by now yellling at me to take it one gear down.

All I wanted was to be "brave", I guess. To show P "you see, nothing has to change! I can still do all of it, even if I'm pregnant. Hell, I can even do more and find an extra job right now".
I guess it's time to face reality. To put all pride aside - and to realize that maybe I am not, but inside me, there is someone who's very vulnerable.

 Inside me, there's a tiny human being that's probably going to be with us for the rest of our lives. Everything I do now, affects him/her in one way or another. I know that stress affects him. I now too much fatigue can affect him. I know that a nasty fall can affect him. And I know that the bard bellies can simply put an end to him.

So maybe I won't have the perfect body to show afterwards if I don't swim all my laps. Maybe I won't be able to pay all my shares if I don't find another job. But all of this, let's face it, is temporary. The baby is not. Tiny N has to be okay. He or she is not temporary - but is now in a really important phase in  his life, and needs all the possible care and protection I'm able to give.
If that means "taking it slow" - then I have to accept that. And hopefully others will understand too.

Other news from the doc is that more medical tests are once again needed. Some results from the first trimester ultrasound are not as positive as we had hoped. And although she didn't seem all too worried, I am. Very much so. Which is making me realize even more how much I care for tiny N. I don't want anything to be wrong or go wrong with him/her.