After 3 months of queasiness, and one week where I was hungry, but nauseaus every time I ate something more than a cracker, I'm now officially hungry. Hungry in a prehistorical "I'd kill any mammoth on my path"-way. Seriously - I've never been this kind of hungry. If you'd stand between me and my lunch or dinner, you'd better start saying your prayers.
Today, at lunch time, I had to stop myself from making a scene becausing it was taking the waiter an eternity to bring me my sandwich. I almost walked into the kitchen, where it was waiting on the counter, to get it myself. In the metro, I wanted to snatch a Mars bar right out of someone's hands. I think about food, or what I'm going to eat, non-stop.
Luckily, the amounts of food I need to still the hunger, are still quite reasonable. Tonight, a bowl of fruitsalad, 5 whole weat crackers, and two tomatoes (with lots of vinegar!) did the trick (for now, at least).
(I have it from several sources that it's not uncommon to wake up in the middle of the night, just because you're so hungry).
So here's the good news: over the last few days, I've gained half a kilo! Woohoo! (okay, that's still - 2,5 kg since day 1 of the pregnancy, but hey...).
Tiny N's timeline
Monday, 28 February 2011
Friday, 25 February 2011
Welcome!
To all of you, who have just arrived here through my "official" blog!
I hope you can all stand the baby-colours around here, and manage to stay around long enough to find out what's been going on in my life the last three months.
I hope you can all stand the baby-colours around here, and manage to stay around long enough to find out what's been going on in my life the last three months.
Wednesday, 23 February 2011
No huge underwear. And small wheels.
Is there an unwritten rule that says "Pregnant women are not supposed to be / look sexy"?
If there is, I refuse to live by it. So - no "maternity bra" for me, thank you very much.
This afternoon, tired of the morning struggle with everything in my underwear drawer, I decided to go into one of those huge everything-for-you-and-your-baby-stores. (where I still feel I'm on some planet where I don't really belong).
Anyway, onto the underwear section. A big ad "You grow - is your bra growing with you?" - already made me wanted to turn around and run. But I had made it this far, so I decided to give it a try.
The reflection in the mirror of the fitting room was my worst nightmare coming true. I mean: my grandmother had underwear that looked sexier than this. If P saw me in that thing, our sex life would be over in a nano-second. Granted: it was very comfy. But do I really need shoulder straps that are more than an inch wide? Do I need a back strap that covers my entire shoulder blades? Do I need a bra that makes the word "cleavage" a long lost dream? Thanks, but no thanks.
(needless to mention, the only colour / fabric option was plain white coton. Or black. How daring).
So there - I refuse to wear one of these things; Same way as I refuse to buy one of these prams with Hummer-size wheels that everybody seems to have these days. Sexy underwear, and prams that don't look like they're getting ready to participate in the next Camel Trophy race. That's all I'm asking.
If there is, I refuse to live by it. So - no "maternity bra" for me, thank you very much.
This afternoon, tired of the morning struggle with everything in my underwear drawer, I decided to go into one of those huge everything-for-you-and-your-baby-stores. (where I still feel I'm on some planet where I don't really belong).
Anyway, onto the underwear section. A big ad "You grow - is your bra growing with you?" - already made me wanted to turn around and run. But I had made it this far, so I decided to give it a try.
The reflection in the mirror of the fitting room was my worst nightmare coming true. I mean: my grandmother had underwear that looked sexier than this. If P saw me in that thing, our sex life would be over in a nano-second. Granted: it was very comfy. But do I really need shoulder straps that are more than an inch wide? Do I need a back strap that covers my entire shoulder blades? Do I need a bra that makes the word "cleavage" a long lost dream? Thanks, but no thanks.
(needless to mention, the only colour / fabric option was plain white coton. Or black. How daring).
So there - I refuse to wear one of these things; Same way as I refuse to buy one of these prams with Hummer-size wheels that everybody seems to have these days. Sexy underwear, and prams that don't look like they're getting ready to participate in the next Camel Trophy race. That's all I'm asking.
Comfy and not so comfy
Out went the fancy Mandarina Duck handbag, and the cool Mer du Nord schoolbag. And in came the backpack. No, it's not a fashion statement - it's pure necessity.
I can't run around town anymore, from one client to the next, loaded with different bags like a mule. So that's why, last week, I decided to throw in the towel / bags, and go for comfort.
Moreover, the backpack is keeping me in perfect balance - little bump on the front, little bump on the back; like a camel, sort of.
So far, I'm very happy with my unfashionable decision. I'm no longer dead tired, and anyway... I'm getting used to my new "urban cool & sporty"-look. (not yet used to the expanding waistline though).
Also in the comfort-zone : I had my first cupcake in three months today! Not that I'm enormously hungry all of a sudden, but the appetite is (very) slowly returning. Still no weight-gain, but if I tell other women that, I only get deadly poisonous looks - so I'll shut up about it for now.
Outside of the comfort zone : annoying stabbing pains, causing lots of stress and panic attacks. Called the doctor, but she wasn't too worried. Checked the internet - apparently could be "growing pains" again. Luckily, my next appointment is already next week. Can't wait to see and hear tiny N again!!
I can't run around town anymore, from one client to the next, loaded with different bags like a mule. So that's why, last week, I decided to throw in the towel / bags, and go for comfort.
Moreover, the backpack is keeping me in perfect balance - little bump on the front, little bump on the back; like a camel, sort of.
So far, I'm very happy with my unfashionable decision. I'm no longer dead tired, and anyway... I'm getting used to my new "urban cool & sporty"-look. (not yet used to the expanding waistline though).
Also in the comfort-zone : I had my first cupcake in three months today! Not that I'm enormously hungry all of a sudden, but the appetite is (very) slowly returning. Still no weight-gain, but if I tell other women that, I only get deadly poisonous looks - so I'll shut up about it for now.
Outside of the comfort zone : annoying stabbing pains, causing lots of stress and panic attacks. Called the doctor, but she wasn't too worried. Checked the internet - apparently could be "growing pains" again. Luckily, my next appointment is already next week. Can't wait to see and hear tiny N again!!
Saturday, 19 February 2011
A general feeling of calmness
According to "What to expect when you're expecting", I should start to experience "a general feeling of calmness" at this stage. Well, that general feeling is more than welcome. Really, anytime now. No need to call in advance. Because up until now, this pregnancy has been a source of happiness, without any doubt, but also -very much - a source of lots and lots of stress.
Stress about :
- the posibility of loosing the baby
- the 100 things I feel, always thinking that something's wrong
- not eating enough
- eating the wrong things
- people coughing and sneezing and sending all there discusting germs in my direction every time I take the tram or metro.
- all the medical tests
- the way I look (pale, skin rash, unmanageable hair, bags under my eyes, and nothing decent to wear)
- money (for all the medical tests, for maternity clothes, for a bra that fits, for all the baby-stuff)
- not getting nearly enough rest / sleep, and by now having used up all me energy reserves
- my job, and how I can keep it up (running to four different places in one day, with heavy schoolbag)
- getting refused other jobs just because I'm pregnant (happened last week)
- falling again (from the stairs, or when I'm cycling)
- my body taking all kinds of strange shapes
- giving birth (already giving me nightmares)
So yes, "a general feeling of calmness" would be more than welcome.
Stress about :
- the posibility of loosing the baby
- the 100 things I feel, always thinking that something's wrong
- not eating enough
- eating the wrong things
- people coughing and sneezing and sending all there discusting germs in my direction every time I take the tram or metro.
- all the medical tests
- the way I look (pale, skin rash, unmanageable hair, bags under my eyes, and nothing decent to wear)
- money (for all the medical tests, for maternity clothes, for a bra that fits, for all the baby-stuff)
- not getting nearly enough rest / sleep, and by now having used up all me energy reserves
- my job, and how I can keep it up (running to four different places in one day, with heavy schoolbag)
- getting refused other jobs just because I'm pregnant (happened last week)
- falling again (from the stairs, or when I'm cycling)
- my body taking all kinds of strange shapes
- giving birth (already giving me nightmares)
So yes, "a general feeling of calmness" would be more than welcome.
Thursday, 17 February 2011
Latest developments
Tiny N is peeing!! Inside my body!! I'm not sure how to feel about this...
He/she also has developped all kinds of reflexes by know : sucking movements with the mouth, clenching his fists (and grabbing onto the umbilical cord, the only "toy" around there - we actually saw this on the 3D ultrasound!), curling the toes, etc! He/she can also yawn by now, or suck his tumb - how cute is that!
As for me : apparently I produce way more blood than usual (1.5 x more!) - all in tiny N's benefit of course. My brain gets less blood (what a perfect excuse :-), resulting in diziness (tell me..Who needs alcohol?). And then there's a whole list of other side effects that are new:
-being constantly out of breath (blame the hormones)
- heartburn (blame the hormones)
- strange dreams (blame the hormones)
I'm supposed to gain a kilo per pregnancy-month, but instead I lost one each month. So we're now to three kilo's down - and we should be at 3 kilo's up. No wonder I feel physically exhausted, and more tired than ever. According to the books, my appetite should be returning by now - but I can't say I'm all that hungry...
P's very sweet, pushing me to eat cookies - and at the same time teasing me with my "big belly"; not the most efficient approach :-) . The belly is getting rounder and rounder. I can completely forget about wearing any of my jeans. And some other body parts are by now simply huge. That has to stop. I mean it.
Anyway, it's time to force-feed myself again. Someone has a lot of growing to do.
He/she also has developped all kinds of reflexes by know : sucking movements with the mouth, clenching his fists (and grabbing onto the umbilical cord, the only "toy" around there - we actually saw this on the 3D ultrasound!), curling the toes, etc! He/she can also yawn by now, or suck his tumb - how cute is that!
As for me : apparently I produce way more blood than usual (1.5 x more!) - all in tiny N's benefit of course. My brain gets less blood (what a perfect excuse :-), resulting in diziness (tell me..Who needs alcohol?). And then there's a whole list of other side effects that are new:
-being constantly out of breath (blame the hormones)
- heartburn (blame the hormones)
- strange dreams (blame the hormones)
I'm supposed to gain a kilo per pregnancy-month, but instead I lost one each month. So we're now to three kilo's down - and we should be at 3 kilo's up. No wonder I feel physically exhausted, and more tired than ever. According to the books, my appetite should be returning by now - but I can't say I'm all that hungry...
P's very sweet, pushing me to eat cookies - and at the same time teasing me with my "big belly"; not the most efficient approach :-) . The belly is getting rounder and rounder. I can completely forget about wearing any of my jeans. And some other body parts are by now simply huge. That has to stop. I mean it.
Anyway, it's time to force-feed myself again. Someone has a lot of growing to do.
Tuesday, 15 February 2011
First trimester : done!
Unbelievable how fast it's all going! I feel like it's just a few weeks since I found out I'm pregnant, and wham...as of today I'm officially in what's called "the second trimester".
The first three months are over - and little N seems here to stay!
Not to everyone's liking though...Today an excellent job interview took a 180° turn after I honestly told them that I was pregnant. "That changes everything" was what the recruiter literally said. I felt discriminated as a woman and quite angry. Until I realised that I much rather don't have the job, but still have tiny N instead of the other way around.
Still - it's so unfair, and there's just nothing you can do about it...I wonder if any man ever got refused a job because he was going to be a father...
The first three months are over - and little N seems here to stay!
Not to everyone's liking though...Today an excellent job interview took a 180° turn after I honestly told them that I was pregnant. "That changes everything" was what the recruiter literally said. I felt discriminated as a woman and quite angry. Until I realised that I much rather don't have the job, but still have tiny N instead of the other way around.
Still - it's so unfair, and there's just nothing you can do about it...I wonder if any man ever got refused a job because he was going to be a father...
Sunday, 13 February 2011
I'm not the only one swimming
Yesterday, while dozing off on the couch, I felt "something" in my lower belly. This morning, while swimming, I felt it again, but stronger! A fluttery, wavy, unknown feeling. I know it's tiny N.
Books say it's normally still another month before you can feel the baby. But a search on the web told me that it's definitely possible if you are very slender and/or very sensitive. And the discussion boards showed me that I'm really not the only one feeling something this early on.
So maybe that's why I almost swam 2 km this morning! I had a little extra propeller :-) !
Books say it's normally still another month before you can feel the baby. But a search on the web told me that it's definitely possible if you are very slender and/or very sensitive. And the discussion boards showed me that I'm really not the only one feeling something this early on.
So maybe that's why I almost swam 2 km this morning! I had a little extra propeller :-) !
Thursday, 10 February 2011
Hands, fingers, toes,...
It's all there!
Today was "the first ultrasound" - the one that is done at 3 months.
Tiny N appears to be okay - all body parts are in place, and the first measurements don't give any reason to worry. It's still waiting for the final results (of the blood analyses) - but so far, so good.
We also got an image in 3D, which was really impressive.
Our baby is now about the same size as our dwarf hamster :-)
Today was "the first ultrasound" - the one that is done at 3 months.
Tiny N appears to be okay - all body parts are in place, and the first measurements don't give any reason to worry. It's still waiting for the final results (of the blood analyses) - but so far, so good.
We also got an image in 3D, which was really impressive.
Our baby is now about the same size as our dwarf hamster :-)
Tuesday, 8 February 2011
Holy cow!
I got pregnant the weekend I put up the Christmas tree.
I found out I was pregnant on Christmas.
And now I'm going on holiday to the Holy Land.
This is starting to get a bit creepy, right? Next thing I know, some angel will be flying into my living room, claiming it was an immaculate conception.
I found out I was pregnant on Christmas.
And now I'm going on holiday to the Holy Land.
This is starting to get a bit creepy, right? Next thing I know, some angel will be flying into my living room, claiming it was an immaculate conception.
Monday, 7 February 2011
Test, test, test
I'm going crazy.
Thursday is the big "12-weeks-ultrasound" sceduled. In other words: the nuchal fold-test, combined with a blood test, combined with the mother's age (auch) to see what the chances are that the baby has Down-syndrome, or some other chromosomal problems.
And I feel so damned scared. I've bursted out in tears several times this evening - and going on the internet to find some comfort had the opposite effect : one horror-story after the other.
If something's wrong with tiny N...I just can't take it. Yep, there we go..crying again.
I HATE all this testing.
Thursday is the big "12-weeks-ultrasound" sceduled. In other words: the nuchal fold-test, combined with a blood test, combined with the mother's age (auch) to see what the chances are that the baby has Down-syndrome, or some other chromosomal problems.
And I feel so damned scared. I've bursted out in tears several times this evening - and going on the internet to find some comfort had the opposite effect : one horror-story after the other.
If something's wrong with tiny N...I just can't take it. Yep, there we go..crying again.
I HATE all this testing.
Sunday, 6 February 2011
growing pains
Hmm, my body is changing quite rappidly these days, and I don't know how to feel about that. "Insecure" would be a good word. It's pretty weird to look down in the shower, and see that bump - that just won't go away, no matter how hard I try to suck it in. It's all out of my hands now. I can swim, walk, work out all I want...I'm just going to get bigger and bigger.
(how I still haven't gained a single kilo remains a mystery, but I really won't complain about that one)
Finding clothes that don't cut my breath off, is becoming a real mission every morning. (Let alone trying to hide the fact that I'm pregnant - which is becoming almost impossible). So this weekend, after my mom saw how my trousers created an almost perfect muffin-top, she decided it was time to take me to the "future moms' store".
Yes, I definitely looked pregnant, now that my belly finally had some room in the right kind of clothes. I was just getting used to the sight of myself in the mirror, when the sales woman put another, fake, pregnant-belly under my shirt, so that I could have an idea what it would look like in a few months. Wow.
So there it is - I'm starting to look pregnant, and I have the maternity clothes to deal with it on a practical level. Now some support and reassurance on an emotional level would be more than welcome. (instead of weird looks that say "wohoh shit, she's getting big" - or is that just my imagination?)
(how I still haven't gained a single kilo remains a mystery, but I really won't complain about that one)
Finding clothes that don't cut my breath off, is becoming a real mission every morning. (Let alone trying to hide the fact that I'm pregnant - which is becoming almost impossible). So this weekend, after my mom saw how my trousers created an almost perfect muffin-top, she decided it was time to take me to the "future moms' store".
Yes, I definitely looked pregnant, now that my belly finally had some room in the right kind of clothes. I was just getting used to the sight of myself in the mirror, when the sales woman put another, fake, pregnant-belly under my shirt, so that I could have an idea what it would look like in a few months. Wow.
So there it is - I'm starting to look pregnant, and I have the maternity clothes to deal with it on a practical level. Now some support and reassurance on an emotional level would be more than welcome. (instead of weird looks that say "wohoh shit, she's getting big" - or is that just my imagination?)
Friday, 4 February 2011
Yawn
Sleepless nights, nightmares about giving birth, a certain hormone at its peak this week, a couple of bodyparts hurting like hell, etc. In other words: tiny N is sucking all energy out of me at the moment. This morning I nearly didn't make it to work.
It would be nice to get a bit of extra attention right now, to get pampered a bit. But P is working insane hours, and hasn't been home before 11 PM one single night. So I guess I'm not the only one who's feeling exhausted. Thank god it's weekend. I could so use a nice big glass of red wine right now. (don't worry, I won't).
So..those were my five minutes of complaining of the day. Other than that, I'm still happy as can possibly be with my 4cm-baby!
It would be nice to get a bit of extra attention right now, to get pampered a bit. But P is working insane hours, and hasn't been home before 11 PM one single night. So I guess I'm not the only one who's feeling exhausted. Thank god it's weekend. I could so use a nice big glass of red wine right now. (don't worry, I won't).
So..those were my five minutes of complaining of the day. Other than that, I'm still happy as can possibly be with my 4cm-baby!
Wednesday, 2 February 2011
Take a sip
So you can't eat / drink a list of things that's as long as the door of your fridge.
You can't cuddle your cats, work in the garden or have close encounters with little children or elderly people.
Forget left-overs, or anything that's not baked until it's black or overcooked. Or scrubbed clean until all the taste is gone.
Okay, I'm getting used to all of that. Kind of.
But then today I found out that the water I've been drinking gallons of is "not suited for pregnant women"; too many nitrates or something. Tab water is out of the question too. And that, dear readers, was the proverbial last straw. There's only so much a girl can take.
Fine, I'll stay off the tiramisu and chocolate mousse. Allright, I'll leave the wine. Forget spaghetti carbonara. No more coffee, whatever. But can I just have any goddamn glass of water, without having to scan the entire bottle for how many of what minerals? Jeeezzz. Enough already.
You can't cuddle your cats, work in the garden or have close encounters with little children or elderly people.
Forget left-overs, or anything that's not baked until it's black or overcooked. Or scrubbed clean until all the taste is gone.
Okay, I'm getting used to all of that. Kind of.
But then today I found out that the water I've been drinking gallons of is "not suited for pregnant women"; too many nitrates or something. Tab water is out of the question too. And that, dear readers, was the proverbial last straw. There's only so much a girl can take.
Fine, I'll stay off the tiramisu and chocolate mousse. Allright, I'll leave the wine. Forget spaghetti carbonara. No more coffee, whatever. But can I just have any goddamn glass of water, without having to scan the entire bottle for how many of what minerals? Jeeezzz. Enough already.
Tuesday, 1 February 2011
4 cm, 10 weeks
I had another look at tiny N today! She/he is really looking like a mini-human now, with legs, feet, arms, hands, head, belly and everything! Moving around, wriggling from left to right, not staying still for one moment.
Ever since I'm back from the doctor, I can't stop looking at my belly and touching it - to have this tiny baby in there- it's so unbelievable, so unreal, so amazing...
Other than that, everything seems to be okay. Blood results were good, nothing special to report.
Only one small issue. I've lost weight again - instead of gaining. So I came home, and did the right thing. I started baking waffles. Tiny N is 50% Belgian, after all.
Ever since I'm back from the doctor, I can't stop looking at my belly and touching it - to have this tiny baby in there- it's so unbelievable, so unreal, so amazing...
Other than that, everything seems to be okay. Blood results were good, nothing special to report.
Only one small issue. I've lost weight again - instead of gaining. So I came home, and did the right thing. I started baking waffles. Tiny N is 50% Belgian, after all.
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