Take a sip

So you can't eat / drink a list of things that's as long as the door of your fridge.
You can't cuddle your cats, work in the garden or have close encounters with little children or elderly people.
Forget left-overs, or anything that's not baked until it's black or overcooked. Or scrubbed clean until all the taste is gone.
Okay, I'm getting used to all of that. Kind of.
But then today I found out that the water I've been drinking gallons of is "not suited for pregnant women"; too many nitrates or something. Tab water is out of the question too. And that, dear readers, was the proverbial last straw. There's only so much a girl can take.
Fine, I'll stay off the tiramisu and chocolate mousse. Allright, I'll leave the wine. Forget spaghetti carbonara. No more coffee, whatever. But can I just have any goddamn glass of water, without having to scan the entire bottle for how many of what minerals? Jeeezzz. Enough already.